Learn to use well the good we have been given

Ben has been on a roll of great days. Nearly 7 straight weeks without a seizure. In our world, a day without a seizure is what we call a great day.


No one can explain why he’s been seizure-free during these last two months. A lot of assumptions and maybes are made to try to explain it. No one can predict what tomorrow will bring, either. But 7 weeks … we’ll take it!

There is a strange symbiosis between Ben’s demeanour and mine. When he is happy, I am happy. When he smiles, I can smile all day long. In reality, I can’t smile without him. Even the smallest of grins is contagious.

With this many great days under his belt, I sensed a bump in his confidence, too. Last week he had his final exam that was worth 35% of his final mark. It was going to be tough—a Canadian history course with lots of dates, events and people to remember.

I could feel some tentativeness in his mood and body position leading up to it. No different than any one of us preparing for a final exam. The anxiety this brings can too easily progress to a seizure for Ben, and it has done so in the past.

But this time seemed different. He was tense but his eyes had a positive look to them, almost telling me he would be able to control his emotions, this time.

He was right. No seizures. No strange behaviour and he slept well each night.

Confidence begets confidence

I guess the same is true for me. Whenever I see his confidence, I feel more confident. I feel I can do more. Take chances again. A momentary sense of relief and freedom washes over me. And I even begin to think I might have some control over my life.

All of these great days become a positive feedback loop, too. He’s happy, we’re happy. He’s happy that we’re happy … you get the picture. It’s clear to me that we’re all connected in spirit. We are all spiritual beings having a human experience.

Even though this string of great days could end at any time, I’ve learned to “store” this positive energy so it can be used to cope with the “bad” ones when they rear their ugly heads.

Most importantly, though, I’ve learned that these great days are the real gifts in my life and I do my best not to squander them. Like in the parable of the talents.

“…For to everyone who has shall be given, and he shall have abundance….” (Matthew 25:29).

7 weeks is a long time but, honestly, 7 years would be truly great!

Mike is co-founder of SoaringFamilies, an online community focused on providing families with Caregiving expertise and Coping solutions, so they can live more freely, more fully and with more energy. SoaringFamilies is about believing in a future that is bigger than the past, creating a world where all persons are accepted and included, and where every life is of equal value. Visit https://soaringfamilies.com to learn more and experience the inspiration of Ben's story and the power of an inclusive community.