Each morning I make my husband Joe and I an egg. The goal is to make our eggs “sunny side up” but if (when) the yolk breaks, plan B is in effect: scrambled is served! And plan B happens most of the time! Similarly, every day caring for one with special needs is like that. That sums up our life—how about yours?
Everyday we set out for “sunny side up,” hoping we’ve all awakened on the right side of the bed, but no matter if that happens or not, life has so many:
- Twists and turns
- Lefts and rights
- Ups and downs
- Ins and outs …
…that we wind up with something very different from that which we started.
Some days we have all we can do to talk Joey (36 with special needs) into dressing for work. It’s not as easy as setting out his clothes and finding a willing participant to just cooperate. Monday is like pulling teeth, and already the day’s scrabbled, but Friday he is generally cooperative and pleasant. And that’s just dressing. We still have to serve and eat breakfast, get on shoes and a coat, get out the door, etc. So seldom do things go as planned.
Most recently we planned a trip to Florida to celebrate my husband Joe’s 65th birthday and also get some writing done on a book we’re working on together. Not only did plan B have to take affect but I think we wound up on Plan “Y” – WHY!???!? (I saw a poster that same week that said, “If plan “A” fails, remember there are 25 more letters!”) On a good day, it might be smooth, but on most days, life is stressful, hard to deal with, and can be a challenge.
So what do we learn/glean from this with our special-needs situation?
- Life is never predictable – we might need to stop trying to make a square peg fit into a circle spot
- The “plan” is never the plan – so make your daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals in pencil and give God the eraser
- Being too planned will lead to frustration – so those of us who are like “oaks”….we need to learn to bend like the willows – being flexible and willing to move with the wind!
- Surrender now- surrender to a good attitude; a willing spirit to serve; and know you’re pleasing God, your person with special needs, and others around you.
Once we employ those thoughts, we’ll love the scrambled just as much as the sunny-side up part of life!
Connect with Joe and Cindi Ferrini, Authors of UNEXPECTED JOURNEY-WHEN SPECIAL NEEDS CHANGE OUR COURSE at www.cindiferrini.com