We often approach the month of “LOVE” recognizing our special someone. We’ve always considered this month of Valentine’s Day to be tough for some people. We don’t all have that special someone with whom we do life, share intimacies, and with whom we go the distance. We have tried over the years to send greetings to widows, single women/moms, those newly divorced, etc. to let them know we care. They are not often in a situation where someone will notice they are lonely or feeling displaced.
Another group is those in special needs caring situations that experience loneliness and often doing the hard work of life alone. For us, even though we have each other, we recognize that so many of our decisions in our daily care of our son (or our parents in their elder years) left us spent, alone, and lonely. We are thankful we’ve never really been that couple that has to celebrate on the day or even close to the day whether it was Valentines Day, a birthday, or our anniversary. If we miss it, well, we missed it. Life sometimes would be so full that we just had to let it go. The good thing, and the solid foundation is that we love each other and always wanted to work through and do what was right.
So the one thing that came out of missing some occasions or finding a different time to celebrate, was that we knew we were called not to what was easy, fun, and comfortable, but to what was right. Having this mindset allowed us the grace to do what was needed without blaming the other (or anyone else) for failure to do something special on those occasions. There is a great satisfaction to know you did the right thing in caring for another even if you personally have to sacrifice what you wanted to do. This satisfaction didn’t happen overnight. Through times of disappointment even as simple as having a television show interrupted allowed us to recognize that we were needed for something greater, something of more value, and certainly something more meaningful.
While we might all hope that we’ll get to go out to dinner, get flowers, or open that special box of candy….when it doesn’t happen, let’s remember that perhaps it didn’t happen because we were in the middle of doing what was right.
Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini are authors, speakers, and bloggers for several blogging sites on family and special needs. They speak nationally for FamilyLife Weekend To Remember Marriage Get-a-Ways, authored Unexpected Journey – When Special Needs Change our Course, and have been interviewed on Focus on the Family, FamilyLife, and various other radio and television venues. Connect with them at www.cindiferrini.comand social media at: www.facebook.com/cindi.ferrini, www.facebook.com/UnexpectedJourney/, www.facebook.com/MyMarriageMatters/