Caregiving in a culture of outrage is a huge challenge. Parents of kids with special needs and disabilities who use social media to engage with other caregiving families have to wade through the outrage before they can connect. What do they have to contend with in the swamp?
Nasty memes.
Dubious news articles gone viral.
Ugly accusations.
Personal attacks.
Language that surely grieves the heart of God.
I wade into the swamp each morning to post encouragement on my Facebook page for caregiving families.
Every step of the way I fight discouragement.
I push away angry thoughts toward those posting views unlike my own.
I fight the temptation to go down rabbit holes.
Photo credit: Aziz Acharki on Unsplash.com
Caregiving in a culture of outrage isn’t easy for me or for the parents I desire to encourage. These three strategies help me keep from being sucked into the swamp, and I hope they do the same for you.
Strategy #1: Evaluate and Control What You See on Social Media
Ask yourself these three questions to evaluate and control your social media news feeds.
Does this post give me life or suck away my joy? If it gives life, read it. If it sucks joy, scroll past it. Or if it comes from someone whose posts consistently drain your joy (joy you need to be the positive caregiver your child deserves), snooze whoever it is for 30 days, hide their posts, or unfriend the person.
Does the post have a positive or negative spin? If it’s positive, keep it. Read it. Consider it. Leave an equally positive comment. If it’s negative, once again consider using the snooze, hide, or unfriend options.
Does the post have the potential to lead to positive, substantial change? Posts that lead to positive solutions and change are worth reading. Those that foment outrage for outrage’s sake aren’t. Get rid of them.
Strategy #2: Evaluate and Control What You Post
Ask yourself these four questions before posting your own thoughts or sharing what someone else posted.
Is what I want to say encouraging and edifying, or will it tear down and destroy? If it builds up, post it. If it has the power to destroy, don’t.
Does my post have a positive spin? If it does, post it. If it doesn’t, keep revising until it does. If there’s no way to make it positive, ditch it.
Does what I’m posting focus on problems or solutions? It’s okay to point out problems, as long as you propose a way to solve them. Only post when what you have to say includes both.
Can I find the source of the post I want to share? Is it reputable, substantiated, accurate? Only share what you’ve fact-checked and evaluated carefully.
Strategy #3: Evaluate Using Philippians 4:8
Philippians 4:8 says this: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Filter what you're reading or want to post through a Philippians 4:8 lens. Ask yourself:
Is this true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable?
Does it display excellence?
Is it praiseworthy?
If your answer is yes, keep going. If my answer is no, don’t.
The challenge of caregiving in a culture of outrage is great, but the God who placed us in this culture is greater. He is our example of everything true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy. He will lead us through the swamp.
Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She's also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.
