Even though our celebration of Valentine’s Day has passed, there are things we can do every day to show we love each other and care for one another. It is a choice, but it takes work. Being a caregiver for our loved ones with special needs can put a lot of pressure on our marriage. Sometimes it can feel like we’re just tossing leftovers at each other to keep our marriage afloat. It doesn’t have to be that way!
Photo by taylor hernandez on Unsplash
Joe and I have a list for you to consider and even “check off” when you’ve had the opportunity to talk and work through them:
Be sure to talk about the big and small issues in life. Doing so shows you care. And if you can nip the small things, you will have fewer big issues!
Keep doing little things for each other in word and deed, even if you are working through some issues. Do not ever withhold good things from each other.
Wear yourself out blessing your spouse.
Learn to compromise, knowing you both need to work on things.
Keep showing affection: hugs, a kiss on the cheek, holding hands.
STOP purposely pushing each other’s hot buttons. Take the time to learn and respect the triggers of your spouse. By doing this, you can avoid conversations escalating to yelling and anger.
Do not keep score. Do not get even. (1 Peter 3:9) This is a relationship killer.
Respond—do not delay discussing little things. Do not dismiss or deny.
Admit fault and own it; make it right.
Show you are truly sorry for the wrongs you have done by stopping them.
When we put each other first, we won’t feel like we’re getting leftovers. We feel well-loved, cared for, honored, and adored. And who wouldn’t love that?
Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini share their newest book: Love All-Ways: Embracing Marriage Together on the Special Needs Journey (order at www.cindiferrini.com). They are authors, speakers, and bloggers for several blogging sites on marriage, family and special needs. They spoke nationally for FamilyLife Weekend To Remember Marriage Get-a-Ways for 20 years, authored *Unexpected Journey – When Special Needs Change our Course, and have been interviewed on Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, Janet Parshall at “In the Market”, Chris Brooks of “Equipped” and various other radio and television venues. Connect with them at: www.cindiferrini.com and via social media at: www.facebook.com/cindi.ferrini, www.facebook.com/UnexpectedJourney/, www.facebook.com/MyMarriageMatters/
