Have you ever felt like you could not go on and that it was all you could do to take one more step? It is easy to get bogged down in the day to day. If this is where you are, I want to encourage you to stop and look back at where you have been.
I wanted to share this part of our story with you because it’s important for you to know that others don’t always perceive your child as a burden. It is possible for strangers to find joy in our special children. We sometimes feel like our child is viewed as a liability to the outside world. But the right people, the ones God sends into your life, will see them with a heavenly perspective.
When I felt I was at my absolute breaking point, God whispered one word that broke the silence and banished the anxiety and grief that had gripped my heart for so long. Then God revealed area after area of my life that I needed to embrace. I I was convicted, but encouraged, and I knew I was loved by the God of the universe.
Nothing I did as a mom seemed to help my son. None of the therapies; none of the love; none of the counseling—personal, marital, and family. Nothing could “fix” our son. But daily, as I sat and whispered Maranatha, Come Lord Jesus, the Lord showed up. He let me know that I was more than Joel’s mom, Matt and Justin’s mom, Wally’s wife. I belonged to God. I was rooted and grounded in God. My life had purpose. My true self began emerging.
One night, around 2:00 a.m., I saw a Facebook post: “We’re having an awful night. Anyone else awake? Is it just us?” What followed was an endless stream of comments from mostly moms talking about being awake with ASD kids. Here was a space where we could be seen and understood, be heard and not critiqued, and could connect.