A few months after James’s diagnosis ten years ago, we went to our first local autism support group meeting. The speaker worked for the Social Security Administration and had two sons on the spectrum. He went over what financial help families like ours could expect when our children get older. He also talked about how we could provide for our children’s care even after our deaths.
We looked around the room at that meeting and saw worry on the other parents’ faces. What would happen to their special-needs children? What responsibilities would they pass on to their typical children? How could they possibly prepare for all the what-ifs?
One of the most pressing worries of parents with special-needs children is what will happen to them when we pass away or are no longer able to care for them. It can keep us up at night, tossing and turning, thinking and praying. Parents of special-needs children also worry about abuse of our children and not being there to stop it. We worry about our children’s future vocations or opportunities. We worry about elopement. We worry about medical costs. Worry, worry, worry.
Teacher, Do You Not Care?
In Mark chapter 4, the disciples were on a boat in a storm. Verse 37 says, “And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.” This time, Jesus was on the boat with them. Verse 38 says he was asleep on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”
We have felt that way before—like we’re in a storm and Jesus doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t feel present. We worry for our lives and for our children. We can even convince ourselves He doesn’t know what’s going on, that He is curled up on a pillow while our entire world falls apart around us.
But those feelings aren’t true. Psalm 121 tells us God does not slumber nor sleep (v. 4). 1 Peter 5:7 says we are to cast our anxieties on Him because He cares for us. When we hear the whisper in our ears that God doesn’t care, we must fight back with the truth. Philip Yancey writes, “God is not deaf. God is as grieved by the world’s trauma as you are. His only son died here. But God has promised to set things right.” (Be Still, My Soul)
Back in our scene in Mark 4, Jesus woke up and calmed the storm by saying, “Peace! Be still!” Then He turned to His disciples and asked, “Why are you so afraid? Have you no faith?” (v. 40).
The weapon against fear is faith.
Faith that God has a plan for you and your children (Jeremiah 29:11). Faith that He will go before you and be your rear guard (Isaiah 52:12). Faith that He will supply your needs (Philippians 4:19). And faith that He loves you (John 3:16). When we have this faith, we do not fear. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:19a).
John Calvin wrote, “When the light of Divine Providence has illuminated the believer’s soul, he is relieved and set free, not only from the extreme fear and anxiety which formerly oppressed him, but from all care.” Friends, Jesus cares. He knows. And He is working things out for your good and for the good of your entire family. Trust in that today and let it drive away your fear!
Sandra Peoples is a special-needs mom and sibling. She and her family live outside of Houston, TX where she serves her church as the director of special-needs ministry. She’s the author of Unexpected Blessings: The Joys and Possibilities of Life in a Special-Needs Family and the host of the podcast, Self Care and Soul Care for the Caregiver. You can connect with her at sandrapeoples.com.
