In March of 2008, a devastating outbreak of tornadoes destroyed parts of downtown Atlanta and the surrounding metro area. Sometime in the middle of the night I heard the sound of tiny feet racing across the wood flooring in our home. Our oldest son, who was around two years old at the time, opened our door and jumped into our bed. He looked me in the eyes and said, “Daddy there’s a tiger outside my window!”
Knowing that he was referring to the sound of the lightning and thunder, I tried to correct his assessment of the danger. After about five minutes, I realized that in that moment my job was not to correct him but to care for him.
Pastoring, much like parenting, is a call to provide care and comfort. In the Old Testament God often used the prophets to pronounce judgment on the leaders (shepherds) of Israel that had neglected to care for the people.
“You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost.” (Ezekiel 34:4 NLT)
Caring for the people in your community and in your congregation is a high calling. This is especially true as it relates to providing pastoral care for special needs families. According to the Apostle Paul, these members of the body deserve extra care.
“In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care.” (1 Corinthians 12:22-23 NLT)
Caring for families impacted by disabilities and special needs often means having the calling and the commitment to provide a pastoral care experience that is based on a plan of how best to care for the needs of the family. Here are some things to consider when committing to caring for the spiritual needs of special needs families.
Offer a spiritual care assessment.
A spiritual care assessment is a great way to understand the needs of the family. It provides families the opportunity to communicate their heartfelt needs. It puts the family in the driver’s seat, and provides them with the control that they sometimes need, in a world where they lack control. Ask questions that will help you to develop a plan to care for them appropriately.
Ask what situations or seasons may be a source of spiritual and emotional distress.
Sometimes special needs families struggle in different seasons and with certain situations. Find out what times of day, times of the week, or times of the year that may be more stressful. You can use this valuable insight to plan ways to support the family at peak times and peak seasons.
Learn what resources provide a sense of spiritual support in times of distress.
In 2 Corinthians, Paul shares the insight that our spiritual health has the potential to help us find strength in times of physical weakness. "
“Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16 NLT)
Ask families for suggestions about practices or rituals that provide them with a sense of spiritual renewal. Here are a just a few examples of spiritual resources and rituals:
Music/Singing/Worship
Communion
Scripture Reading/Study/Sermons
Prayer
Once you determine what they find meaningful, you can then recruit and train current or new volunteers to provide pastoral care by providing families with these resources.
Learn what frequency of visits and contact from the church would be spiritually supportive.
This is an important question to ask when developing a spiritual care plan. Allow the family to determine the scope of visitation. This includes both time and timing. Providing pastoral care should never come at the expense of those we are called to care for. In some instances, visiting with family in the home or during hospitalization may come at cost for the family, because the energy they need to care for their loved one is spent interacting and entertaining visitors. Families should experience the presence of a pastoral care when in crisis. Just be sure that the care provided adds strength without costing the family.
Learn if the family belongs to any other organizations/clubs/communities that they consider meaningful sources of spiritual and emotional support. Find out what way(s) can the church can partner with these organizations to provide the care the family is seeking.
A great way to develop an excellent plan of care is to ask the family about other resources outside of the church that the church can partner with to provide care. Developing relationships with other communities that are supporting the family is a great way of demonstrating your commitment to the family.
Spiritual care for special needs families can require intentional attention to the unique needs for each family and individual, but in the end, this care can strengthen the special needs family and the entire church.
"So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other."
Lamar is an autism advocate, author, and pastor of Tri-Cities Church located in Atlanta. Visit his www.autismpastor.com for more information.
