When Ben was 18 months old, we had no idea he would be diagnosed with autism within the following 12 months. Our family had been attending a church plant that did not seem to be growing. We were exhausted with three young boys and setting up church every week in a local middle school. The location, in particular, was a problem for Ben. The nursery class was in a 6th-grade classroom—it was unsafe. As a family, we prayed for direction in finding a church that better fit our needs. Eventually, we felt that moving to a local, established church was the right choice for our family. They even had a vibrant children's ministry with hundreds of children.
Image of Sandy and her son, Ben.
Parents of disabled students should serve in the church, but not in the disability ministry.
After Ben's diagnosis, typical church expectations became more difficult for him. Several families with disabilities got together with a plan to start a class specifically for these children at our church. Our first mistake was that the parents were running the weekly services.
I would encourage every parent to get involved in serving in the church—but after caregiving the other six days of the week, they should not be the ones teaching these amazing, unique, and high-demand children. The parents need time to be filled with community and to be able to function in their daily lives.
Safety needs to be a top priority in the church for all children.
Keeping the children engaged with the varied diagnoses was a big problem. But the issue that would change the church forever was the safety concerns around the ministry. One Sunday, the handoff between the two services did not happen, and the second service worker assumed the student she was working with was not there that week when, in fact, she had left the building. She tried to cross a major street and was struck by a car. Thankfully, she is fine today, but that was after a severe and lengthy hospital stay where she came close to death.
This event forced the church to examine its safety protocols and make many positive changes for the safety of future children.
Disability ministries need support from the top administration of the church.
Ben continued to grow and participate in all church activities, but during his teen years, he desired deeper friendships and felt tolerated instead of included.
He started attending a Wednesday night special needs group at a different church, and the difference was night and day. Finally, Ben felt loved and included. He developed friendships with both the other disabled students and the neurotypical students that served in the ministry. Eventually, Ben asked, “Why don’t we go to this church all the time?” my husband and I could not think of a good reason, so we began attending on Sundays. This church values its disabled students so much that inclusion is one of its core values. They even have a paid position on their staff to run the disability ministry!
I know not every church can afford a staff member for a disability ministry, but prioritizing and valuing these children does not rely solely on a budget.
An inclusive church begins with the church leaders.
There is much to learn from welcoming the disabled community into our churches. More than one person has told me how much they love watching Ben worship. He is uninhibited, and we all wish we felt that same freedom.
Read more about Ben’s extraordinary journey and amazing accomplishments:
Ben has exceeded our expectations and has had some extraordinary opportunities in his lifetime. You can read more about his journey in a newly published book: “Swinging From the Chandelier: Finding Joy in The Journey Through Autism”
Guest blogger, Sandy Hartranft has been an RN for over 39 years and a CDCES (Certified Diabetes Care and Education Specialist) for the past 28 years. She now works at the very hospital that diagnosed Ben with autism at the age of 2. She is the proud mom of 3 wonderful grown sons, an avid reader, loves to cross-stitch and travel with her family. Sandy is always willing to talk to other families about their experiences and hopes to encourage others the same way she was encouraged on her journey. Sandy’s first book “Swinging From the Chandelier: Finding Joy in the Journey through Autism” is a memoir taken from the many journals she kept over the years raising her 3 boys and the wild ride it has been. www.benergy1.com, https://www.tiktok.com/@kitestringmom, Instagram @Kitestringmom
