Let’s imagine, for a moment, a busy church hallway filled with entryways for rooms for children’s classes.
There are parents and children bustling through the hallway, trying to make their way to the children’s drop-off locations. The children are excited to get to their classes. Parents are attempting to head into the sanctuary as quickly as possible.
Now imagine, amongst all the chaos, a family looking around with trepidation.
Perhaps, the family has a child with disabilities. However, the child has no outward signs that others would notice immediately.
The family brings the child to the door of the classroom for drop-off. There’s limited time to exchange information because the class is already in motion. Other children are present, and volunteers are already engaging with them.
What happens next?
Perhaps your church has a form ready for situations like this. Even if an intake form is ready to collect all the necessary information, there may not be time for either party to give the form any justice under the circumstances.
Let’s pretend you have only a few minutes to talk. After the parents introduce their child and give their diagnosis, then what? What do you ask or tell?
Here is what I suggest as a parent of a child with special needs for 17 years and a pediatric speech-language pathologist who has been serving in the church for a number of years:
Communication
How does the child communicate? Are they verbal? If not, do they use sign language or pictures? My own child has been inaccurately described as “shy” by those asking her questions who didn’t realize she could not answer verbally. Knowing a little about communication abilities provides a framework for all the church volunteers to engage effectively with new children.
Reinforcers
A child entering a new environment may be a little uncomfortable or uneasy. With some gentle prodding, church volunteers may be able to redirect and encourage participation. Children with special needs may have strong preferences and need something specific to help them feel more comfortable. To me, it is vital to understand what makes a child happy. A simple question like “What are some things your child is interested in?” can take out the guesswork for church volunteers. One good reinforcer may make a huge difference for the child.
Triggers
Like reinforcers, it’s crucial to understand what may upset or scare the child with special needs. Specifically, church volunteers may want to consider what may be an issue for new children and quickly ask about them. If the children’s area turns the lights off or listens to music loudly, these may need to be addressed briefly while the parent is present. Knowing triggers can help make the environment more comfortable for the child with special needs when there’s little notice.
These are three things I consider essential information to pass along when there is just a minute or two to discuss.
Ideally, there would be no rush to discuss the child and their needs, and there can be a full conversation without any distractions. However, it may not be possible if services are on the verge of starting.
These situations remind me that it’s good to have a game plan to go over some imperative points. A few minutes with good, thoughtful questions can be productive for everyone involved and help the church reach more people effectively.
Evana is a wife and mother of two children. Evana is a pediatric speech-language pathologist and serves children with autism, feeding disorders, and other developmental delays. You can connect with Evana on Twitter, Facebook, and her blog, A Special Purposed Life. You can also read more about her family’s story in her book, Badges of Motherhood: One Mother’s Story about Family, Down Syndrome, Hospitals, and Faith.
