Our first Christmas away from home was also my first one as a parent.
My husband and I lived in a small, remote town. Our town was surrounded by ranches. Cattle and sheep outnumbered people by the thousands. Taking our sick and struggling baby to the doctor required a 240 mile round trip, and winter travel could be treacherous. Traveling hundreds of miles to be with my parents for Christmas was out of the question. I thought celebrating Jesus' birthday away my parents and extended family would be horrible. I was wrong.
Our first Christmas away from home was hard. But it wasn't horrible.
It wasn't horrible because the people in our small town made room and invited us into their homes that Christmas. It wasn't horrible because friends oohed and aahed over our baby and declared him a fighter. It wasn't horrible because the doctor released our baby from one therapy and removed a piece of nasty hardware the therapy had required. It wasn't horrible because though we were walking a parenting path different from what we had anticipated, we were still parents of an adorable baby boy.
Our first Christmas away from home was hard. It was also wonderful.
After months filled with our son's surgeries, hospital stays, and doctor visits, while working full time, Christmas vacation was our first chance to reflect since we became parents. As I changed our baby's diapers, I pictured Joseph and Mary caring for their baby in a small, remote village. As our car bumped down snow-packed gravel roads on the way to the doctor, I imagined how uncomfortable Mary's donkey ride to Bethlehem must have been. As we passed herds of cattle and sheep feeding on hay bales in winter pastures, my nose wrinkled and my eyes watered thinking of the stench in the stable where Jesus was born. As I met my baby's bright-eyed gaze, I could hear the shepherds oohing and aahing over the precious new life in the manger.
Our first Christmas away from home was hard. It was also humbling.
As a new mom who had nearly lost her newborn son, I ached for Mary's future sorrow when she would watch her Son die. Having watched my baby endure great pain, I cringed for what Christ would experience on the cross. For the first time I understood the magnitude of the sacrifice by which God set sinners free. My heart was pierced with new understanding, and I was humbled by the sacrifice wrought for me. That year, for the first time, I celebrated our Savior's birth under the shadow of the cross.
Our first Christmas away from home was a gift wrapped in our son's special needs.
It was not the first Christmas away from home I would have chosen. But it was the gift we were given. It was and is one of the most valuable, precious gifts we have ever received. This year I am sharing it with you. If your child's special needs are shaping the holiday into something different than what you expected, if disability won't allow you to go home this Christmas, if you are certain this December 25 will be horrible, take heart.
Our Savior and His parents spent the first Christmas far from home.
That Christmas was anything but horrible. It was hard. It was wonderful. It was humbling. It was human. It was divine. It was salvation wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. It was Immanuel, God with us. He is with you as you celebrate His birth wherever your child's disability takes you, and He is with your child too.
"Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall call his name Immanuel"
which means, God with us.
Matthew 1: 23 (ESV)
Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She's also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.
