As I stood in my kitchen sipping coffee, I realized with a lurch in my stomach that I still hadn't written anything this month for the blog. In my head I heard the voice that often likes to taunt me, "You've got to write, you've got to pack for your trip, you've got to clean the cat's litter box, you've got to e-mail the teachers at school..."
As I tried to calm myself down by making a list and deciding which things to do, I realized I was also scheduled to serve meals to the homeless that night, usher at our church's special Vision service the next night, and then I would be leaving for Washington DC the following Sunday!
Impossible! How did I over-schedule myself again?
As I heard all the the "you have tos" in my head, I suddenly recalled back to a message I recently heard on the Elevation Church podcast with Steven Furtick. He encouraged us to ask ourselves a question as a means by which to check our emotions: Where did that come from?
My panic—which is my physiological response to an overwhelming schedule—does not come from God. God would NEVER want me to feel so overwhelmed by my service to Him that I get a migraine or start to hyperventilate. Satan likes to put that there though. He loves when I doubt my decisions or regret saying yes to Jesus's work.
And the guilt I was starting to feel about being so busy that I wasn't going to have dinner with my husband or daughter for two nights in a row and then I'd be leaving on a trip—that's rubbish too! Where did that come from? Not from God. When I took a breath and started to listen to God, He said, "I have given you a husband who can manage the house in your absence. He is a terrific father who will care for your girl tenderly and gracefully. You are showing them your faith in THEM and in ME when you leave them to do my work."
John 10:27 tells us that the sheep (Christ followers) know the shepherd's (Christ's) voice. So, when we have a sour reaction to something—when we feel rage, panic, jealousy, or any other myriad of confusing emotions—we can stop and ask ourselves, "Where did that come from? Whose voice is in my head telling me to feel that way?" If it's not from God, then it's coming from the world. If it's not from God, it may very well be a lie. If it's not from God, it's really not worth listening to.