My family has a running joke that I am the epitome of Clark Griswold. I have the tendency to get myself injured in some outlandish ways—ask me sometime how I injured my knee delivering a children’s sermon. I also have the ability to run into almost every obstacle possible when taking my family anywhere.
More importantly, though, I put a lot of energy into having the “perfect” Christmas. In the seasonal classic “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” Clark simply wanted to have a “perfect” family Christmas experience that matched the idealized version of his experiences as a child. As a result, he gathered all his family together—including the uninvited Cousin Eddie—for a “good ole fashion Christmas.”
Needless to say, that “good ole fashion Christmas” was not as easy as Clark envisioned. There were a lot of stress-filled moments that surrounded Clark’s attempts to achieve the “perfect Christmas.” The perfect tree was too big for his living room—and had too much sap. The neighbors kept interfering in his plans. The family and kids were constantly fighting with each other. And, of course, the outdoor Christmas lights would never work.
In each moment, Clark’s anxiety and stress continued to rise because what he expected, a Christmas where all was calm and all was bright, was being replaced by the reality. As his wife, Ellen, famously said,
“It’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.”
@hertwashere from Unsplash.
Clark wanted perfect, but what he got was reality.
I wonder if we are all a little like Clark when it comes to Christmas. I wonder how much anxiety and stress is added simply because we want the “perfect Christmas,” but instead we get overwhelmed by “reality.” As a parent, we want to give our children fond memories of cherished gatherings and celebrations. But do we put too much emphasis on the perfect that we forget to simply celebrate and live in the moment?
How much stress do we put on ourselves to have our house perfectly decorated, so we can “enjoy it?” How much tension do we carry trying to navigate the family dinners and getting worried about our own “Cousin Eddie” showing up and making a scene? How often do we fill up our schedules with parties, events, and celebrations because we feel we have to do it?
How often do we get to Christmas Day and have nothing left to give when it comes time to truly celebrate the incarnation of Christ and the Lord’s presence in our lives?
I know in my own life that when I am more worried about making sure things are “perfect”—having the right family event, putting together the right liturgy for worship, and so on—I forget the love of God in Christ, who has come to dwell among us. When that is the case for me, I neglect giving my family, my church, and others the gift of my presence. What our families desire is our full ability to connect in the moment, to be engaged and focused on where we are and who we are during our celebrations. For me, when I am more worried about making it perfect, I am no longer able to truly be present in the moment so I can celebrate the joy of Christmas and the love of my family, my church, and my friends.
We can carry too much anxiety at Christmas, trying to be like Clark as we seek out the perfect so much so that we neglect what our families desire—our presence! Years from now, our children will not remember that the stockings were hung with care, the gingersnap cookies were baked to perfection, or that the gifts were perfectly wrapped under the tree. What they will remember is our gift of love and presence, and how we shared in the joy of Christmas and Christ’s birth together.
Clark realized something at the end of the movie, as a sense of calm came over him after everything had fallen apart. He realized that the perfect Christmas came through the gathering around to celebrate the moment together.
Perhaps we can take that lesson and remember this Christmas that what our families truly desire is our presence and love as we celebrate Christ together.
Shannon Blosser is a United Methodist pastor serving in West Virginia. He writes on how the church, especially the small church, can be more effective in its inclusion of individuals and families with disabilities. He is a father of an autistic child. You can follow him on Facebook and Threads. He posts, as well, at shannonblosser.com
