I’ve been a parent for over 19 years and have been a caregiver of children with “special needs” for almost all of it. Our first child was in the hospital with respiratory issues for the first time on the day he turned 3-months old. The challenges with both of our children have continued over the years with severe allergies, seizures, ASD, ADHD, RAD, sensory processing disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and OCD. Thankfully, the severity and demands of each diagnosis ebbed and flowed in intensity. The one thing that never changed, though, was the fact that I never felt like we really fit in, especially at church.
Interestingly, my husband has been the senior pastor of both churches we’ve attended during those years. Irony at its best. I regret now that I often made excuses for our isolation, as though people couldn’t help but keep their distance. There were times I was embarrassed by my children’s demands instead of advocating for their needs to be met. Part of this was simple ignorance – on my part and on the part of those around me.
Image from @jule_42 on Unsplash
What DO you do when a child works harder to escape a room than he does work the puzzles at the table?
How can you possibly know where the boundaries should be with a child who inherently has none?
Where is the line between nurturing and structure?
While there aren’t clear answers to these questions, there IS clear theology about our family’s place in the Body of Christ. Scripture clearly communicates throughout both the Old and New Testaments that God wants a relationship with all people. Every individual on the planet needs access to Jesus. It is also clear that every Jesus-follower has a God-given role to play in the church. When God gave us these words, He didn’t forget that there would be caregivers who would barely be able to get dressed and out the door, much less make it for Sunday School and volunteer for weekly nursery duty. The child that can’t color pictures of Jesus and the sheep or stand on the stage and sing Christmas carols wasn’t overlooked either.
If we truly believe that God is all-knowing and all-powerful, perfect in every way, then every person has a place.
“But in fact, God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” (I Corinthians 12:18-20, 27)
Be confident in your desire for this – to fight for it – or search until you find it.
This devotional by Sherri Wirt is part of a larger book Care for the Caregiver by Joni and Friends, click to read.
