I have the most amazing baby sister. She is goofy, loud, opinionated, and hard-headed. She makes me laugh and she drives me completely insane. My sister has a traumatic brain injury (TBI). She will forever see the world with the wonder of a three-year-old and the attitude of a 16-year-old.
There doesn’t exist a world where I don’t respond to my sister as soon as she speaks to me. This is true everywhere. For example, as I stand up at the pulpit preaching, she can be heard from the crowd, “Hi, Jo!” If I do not respond with, “Hey Cymber,” immediately, she will continue to talk, call for me, and get increasingly uncomfortable. She does this because I am her person. I am her best friend. That’s what best friends do.
Cymber will never marry. She will never have a family of her own. In fact, as my parents age and eventually pass away, she will be grafted into my family. She will follow me, no matter what my ministry. She will take her place next to me in growing God’s people.
Cymber’s TBI left her significantly disabled. In every area of development she is delayed. This is not true of everyone with a TBI, but it was for her. She was the first amazing, wonderful, beautiful example in my life of those who are significantly impacted by disability. She has grown me, inspired me, and overturned who I am as a person. She helps me be better than I ever could’ve been without her.
Her disability is not all she is. She is also intuitive, kind, funny, loud, opinionated, self-assured, and bright. Who wouldn’t want a sister like that? A friend like that? A co-laborer for Christ like that? Seeing how it is traumatic brain injury awareness month, it seemed the right time to let you know how to love on those with this type of an injury.
Cymber and Joanna.
There are accommodations she needs to be successful, especially in the church. These accommodations can help almost anyone with a TBI.
1. First aid and seizure training
Every church should have at least two people who are first aid/seizure trained. At least one of these people should be a staff member. It is important for more than just the disabled population: at any time, a member or visitor could have a medical emergency. Being prepared for such an event shows wisdom and compassion.
2. Visual schedules
For those with a more severe traumatic brain injury, being prepared for what comes next is very helpful. Words often take time to process; sometimes they don’t process at all. Seeing what comes next is a huge relief. A visual schedule is much like a check list or to-do list—many of us live by our check lists—but this is in picture form.
3. Reminders of goals and expectations
People with traumatic brain injuries often struggle with memory loss, especially short-term memory. Reminding people of expectations, for example, at church, helps them to succeed and meet the goals for behavior. It may be all they need for success.
4. Remember who they were before the injury, and help them remember, too
Can you imagine not remembering a chunk of your life? For those with a TBI, this can be a regular occurrence. Sometimes, their memories are like shadows instead of the vivid images we experience. Helping them remember the good times makes a huge difference. In those moments, they switch from a world of not remembering their past to a window of reminiscing.
5. Affirm their value as they are today
The Bible promises there is a reason for all things. Jesus said in John 9:1-3 that the man was born blind so the works of God could be shown in him. This is true of all disability. God has a purpose and beauty for every pain we experience. And we know, as believers, that God works out all things for the good of those who love him, Romans 8:28. In fact, if you look at verses 26-27, we see the Spirit helps us in our weakness. This, I imagine, is true even in a brain injury.
6. Empower them to serve
We all want to be needed. God created us with a purpose we are meant to fulfill. It is imperative that the church find a place for these people to serve, because serving is part of our Christian growth. Those with disabilities need to grow in this area, too. Of equal importance, they also help the church grow and thrive. There is a place for them in your church, but it may take creativity and patience. Just find where they fit, like you would with anyone else.
7. Come alongside them in prayer
A traumatic brain injury can be emotionally exhausting and overwhelming. Losing memories, focus, and the ability to keep a schedule can be incredibly draining and frustrating. Imagine, like my sister, knowing you are different but being unable to change that, and all this is due to an event you had no control over. Coming alongside them in prayer and letting them know they are loved, wanted, and needed by you and the whole church makes a huge difference. Give them a chance, and you will grow to love them too. People with TBI’s are incredibly resilient, and they are worth our patience.
A traumatic brain injury could happen to anyone. We must, as the Church, be ready to love on and support those with TBI’s. It is, after all, what Christ would do. He loved people, saw their beauty, and empowered them to serve. We are responsible for doing that, too. Let’s pray, plan, and embrace everybody, loving them as Christ did, regardless of their developmental abilities.
Joanna French is the special needs pastor at Flint Hills Church, Junction City, KS. Joanna and her husband Jairmie have two boys with autism. In 2017, Joanna started Flint Hills Embrace with the goal to make Flint Hills Church a place where everyone belongs. Why? Because we all have a place in God's plan.
